


a few Big Problems™

by kimseun9min



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gay Panic, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Other, Rated T for swearing, Sexual Humor, Teen Angst, Teen Crush, Texting, chat fic, crackheads, just a bit, some regular fic parts, texting fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-01-31 14:20:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 2,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18593020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimseun9min/pseuds/kimseun9min
Summary: fesus : and i’m deadass about to throw the old AND new testament at them if they don’t shut the fuck up.our favorite Baby : Do they not know you’re gay.hyunjins : YES BECAUSE THE MOMENT YOU LOOK AT SOMEONE THEIR LEFT FOOT DETERMINES THEIR SEXUALITYour favorite Baby : I meanour favorite Baby : you never Knowfesus : me? a catholic? gay?fesus : more likely than you think.





	1. minho caught Feelings??!?

**Author's Note:**

> the chapters in this are going to be extremely short because um  
> i'm trying something new here so give a bit of love and opinions ?  
> i really don't know what i'm doing this is just based on some events in my life lmao rip  
> f for effort

_3:07AM_

 

 

 **pUssy :** so

 

 **trash-bin :** sooooooooooooooooo?

 

 **pUssy :** i have a problem

 **pUssy :** a pretty big one i might say

 

 **trash-bin :** i swear to god minho if your dick is hard it does _not_ and never _will_ concern me

 

 **pUssy :** god damnit changbin it’s just a brojob i’m not gay or anything

 

 **trash-bin :**.

 

 **pUssy :**.

 **pUssy :** o shit u rite

 **pUssy :** anyways, dick aside, that’s not my actual problem

 

 **trash-bin :** THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU BANGING MY NOTIFICATIONS AT ASS O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING

 

 **pUssy :** um it’s sorta because i accidentally not really maybe kinda caught feelings for someone?

 

 **trash-bin :** you what.

 

 **pUssy :** i think i l*ke someone

 

  
**trash-bin :** fuck.


	2. felix nearly yeets the Holy Word

**GROUP CHAT**

**NAME : church bois**

_Recipients_ : _Bang Chan, Hwang Hyunjin, Lee Felix, Yang Jeongin_

 

_2:39PM_

 

 

 **D a d d y :** Afterwards, he got baptized!

 

 **fesus :** ah fuck my ass i forgot my bible

 

 **D a d d y :** _LEE YONGBOK_

 

 **hyunjins :** why do you even need a bible lix it’s saturday

 

 **fesus :** so i’m at the mall

 **fesus :** and a group of girls

 **fesus :** are screaming about how hot i am

 **fesus :** and i’m deadass about to throw the old AND new testament at them if they don’t shut the fuck up.

 

 **our favorite Baby :** *Deadheck

 

 **D a d d y :** Thank you, Jeongin.

 

 **our favorite Baby :** Do they not know you’re gay.

 

 **hyunjins :** YES BECAUSE THE MOMENT YOU LOOK AT SOMEONE THEIR LEFT FOOT DETERMINES THEIR SEXUALITY

 

 **our favorite Baby :** I mean

 **our favorite Baby :** you never Know

 

 **fesus :** me? a catholic? gay?

 **fesus :** more likely than you think.

 

 **D a d d y :** I’d love to comment on that but i truly cannot therefore I won’t.

 **D a d d y :** Now if you’d all care to shut up I’d like to get started on my collaboration with Changbin

 **D a d d y :** Being a senior is tough.

 

 **hyunjins :** him “collaborating” is chris-code for ‘getting dicked down by woojin’.

 

 **fesus :** o shit u rite

 

 **our favorite Baby :** *Hecked

 **our favorite Baby :** *Shoot

 

 **D a d d y :** I will come and personally choke every single one of you until you die.

 

 **hyunjins :** yEs dAdDY pLeaSE

 

 **D a d d y :** i-

 

 **fesus :** -brought this upon myself.

 **fesus :** your fault for your own kinks

 **fesus :** shame

 

 **our favorite Baby :** f for effort

 

 **fesus :** f

 

 **D a d d y :** F

 

 **hyunjins :** f

 


	3. in which rehearsal is cancelled

**GROUP CHAT**

**NAME : cha-cha sliding into the pits of hell**

_Recipients : Lee Minho, Hwang Hyunjin_

  
  
  


_6:43PM_

  


**pUssy :** Good evening my fellow dancemates, I would like to remind you of the notice that our rehearsal has been cancelled tonight due to severe thunderstorms. Thank you, and stay dry. Have a great night!

  


**hyunjins :** what the SHIT was that

 **hyunjins :** this is the chat without chenle you can like

 **hyunjins :** not do whatever the fuck you just did

  


**pUssy :** ah

 **pUssy :** allow me to rephrase:

 **pUssy :** don’t go to rehearsal unless you wanna get zapped.

  


**hyunjins :** there we go.

  


**pUssy :** shut the hell your mouth


	4. where seungmin is terrified

_12:14AM_

 

 **Min-min :** Hyunf

 **Min-min :** Hyumg

 **Min-min :** Hyinf

 **Min-min :** Jtungf

 **Min-min :** Hyung

 

 **Mommy Bear :** Seungmin vocal practice was cancelled ages ago you don’t have to worry

 

 **Min-min :** Hyung help

 

 **Mommy Bear :** With?

 

 **Min-min :** I’m ao svared

 **Min-min :** It’s so loyd 

 **Min-min :** loud

 **Min-min :** Please

 

 **Mommy Bear :** What’s loud minnie?

 

 **Min-min :** Thr storn

 **Min-min :** storm

 **Min-min :** The

 **Min-min :** Hyunf I’m hone alome

 

 **Mommy Bear :** Ah, shit.

 **Mommy Bear :** Hang on Seungmin

 **Mommy Bear :** Fuck

 **Mommy Bear :** It’s storming so hard

 **Mommy Bear :** Min can you make it by yourself

 **Mommy Bear :** I can also send one of my friends over, he lives near you.

 

 **Min-min :** It’s finw hyunf, I’ll be alrihgt

 

 **Mommy Bear :** Are you sure?

 

 **Min-min :** Yes

 

**_(cue thunder, extremely loud and window-rattling)_ **

 

 **Min-min :** No

 

 **Mommy Bear :** I’m sending him over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so seungmin is afraid of thunder and loud noises in general woop  
> how's the fic going so far ? ik it's confusing but it'll all fold out eventually  
> at least i hope so
> 
> leave some thoughts and comments if you'd like ! thanks !


	5. jisung is summoned

_12:22AM_

 

 **Mommy Bear :** Jisung

 

 **loves nut :** wh- 

 **loves nut :** what the fuck why are you awake

 

 **Mommy Bear :** Han Jisung this is actually important

 

 **loves nut :** oh no

 **loves nut :** what is it

 

 **Mommy Bear :** You’re a sophomore, correct?

 

 **loves nut :** yes

 

 **Mommy Bear :** And you live near the street filled with identically modelled but differently coloured pastel houses

 **Mommy Bear :** Correct?

 

 **loves nut :** scuse why am i being interrogated

 **loves nut :** but yes, yes i do.

 

 **Mommy Bear :** Do you happen to know Kim Seungmin?

 

 **loves nut :** you mean the guy with the smile and top-level voice in choir?

 **loves nut :** but of course.

 

 **Mommy Bear :** Well um

 **Mommy Bear :** I am in need of assistance and I might need you to

 **Mommy Bear :** Go to Seungmin’s house and help him maybe

 **Mommy Bear :** Because um

 **Mommy Bear :** He’s alone and when he’s alone during thunderstorms it’s no good at all

 

 **loves nut :** but i? barely? know? him???

 

 **Mommy Bear :** Jisung please

 

 **loves nut :** fine, fine.

 **loves but :** address?

 

 **Mommy Bear :** It’s the fourth house, pastel key lime coloured, number 411

 

 **loves nut :** got it.

 **loves nut :** damn it’s pouring out here

 **loves nut :** i’ll text you once i arrive

 

 **Mommy Bear :** Thank you so much, Jisung.


	6. how jisung arrives

Jisung sprinted into his old red 2010 Hyundai Genesis and sped down the street, clearly ignoring the neon speed limit sign’s rules. Taking a sharp right, he drove down a bit, trying to make out the right street through sheets of pouring rain. He spotted the formerly quaint and now dark road, slowing down in an attempt to make out the house numbers or colors. After he found the right house and double checked to see that the mailbox number said  _ 411 _ , he took his keys and burst out of his car door, slamming it and running down the paved walkway that led to the house. Underneath the shelter of the front porch, he held onto the lock button on his keychain until a confirming  _ click _ was heard. 

 

He stepped up to the door and gave three strong, confident knocks.


	7. thotty of all thotties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> plot ? don't know her, i only know that one thing named "do whatever you come up with using your two braincells"

_1:49AM_

 

 **trash-bin :** alright, shithead

 **trash-bin :** allow me to clarify

 **trash-bin :** you, lee minho,

 **trash-bin :** thotty of all thotties,

 

 **pUssy :** rude

 

 **trash-bin :** stfu let me finish

 **trash-bin :** you, lee minho, thotty of all thotties,

 **trash-bin :** caught feelings for someone?

 

 **pUssy :** lmao no when the fuck

 

 **trash-bin :** you really wanna test me

 **trash-bin :** you remember when you woke me up at the ass crack of dawn and told me you had a problem

 

 **pUssy :** to which you responded by saying that you wouldn’t suck my dick

 **pUssy :** which, to put it softly, is of the uttermost disrespect

 

 **trash-bin :** you really want me to show you the receipts

 

 **pUssy :** please no

 

 **trash-bin :** that’s what i thought.

 **trash-bin :** now that we have clarified,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 **trash-bin :** who is it.

 

 **pUssy :** you really think i’m about to tell you huh

 

 **trash-bin :** remember that one time when you accidentally-

 

 **pUssy :** you won’t

 

 **trash-bin :** confessed to your eighth grade teacher when you thought you were straight?

 

 **pUssy :** i retract my previous statement, you will.

 **pUssy :** i take pride in that confessing

 

 **trash-bin :** no u don’t

 

 **pUssy :** no, i don’t

 

 **trash-bin :** STOP CHANGING THE SUBJECT WHO IS ITSLKDFJLD

 

 **pUssy :** _[this message has been deleted]_

 

 **trash-bin :** don’t fucking test me

 

 **pUssy :** fine fine

 **pUssy :** it’s ligma

 

 **trash-bin :** who’s ligma???

 

 **pUssy :** LIGMA BALLS

 

 **trash-bin :** fuck.

 **trash-bin :** off.

 

 **pUssy :** fine it’s jisung

 

 **trash-bin :** park? han? yoon?

 

 **pUssy :** han

 

 **trash-bin :** oh

 **trash-bin :** o h

 **trash-bin :** OH

 **trash-bin :** LMAO GOTTA BLAST BYE

 **trash-bin :** SEE YOU TOMORROW

 

 **pUssy :** wh

 **pUssy :** what the fuck

 **pUssy :** changbin

 **pUssy :** changbin

 **pUssy :** seo changbin

 **pUssy :** seo

 **pUssy :** changbin

 **pUssy :** fuck u man

 **pUssy :** god damnit hhhhhhhhhhhhhjdshf

 

_Read 1:57AM_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you're enjoying ! sorry for the sporadic updates, i'm trying my best ehehehe  
> leave a comment if you want, it makes me really very extremely happy


	8. "cute but distressed gay boy"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> loves nut : desperate ?
> 
>  
> 
> trash-bin : si
> 
>  
> 
> loves nut : no hablo spain
> 
>  
> 
> trash-bin : fuck off i don’t hablo shit either

_1:54AM_

 

**trash-bin :** sooooooooooooooooooooooo

 

**loves nut :** no time changbin i have a very cute but distressed gay boy in my hands

**loves nut :** he’s scared of thunder i’m soft

 

**trash-bin :** what if i said this is about minho

 

**loves nut :** suddenly distressed gay boy is nowhere to be found    ! 

**loves nut :** what about minho?

**loves nut :** if you don’t answer me imma ghost u

 

**trash-bin :** you can’t ghost me if i ghost you first

 

**loves nut :** answer

**loves nut :** the

**loves nut :** damn

**loves nut :** question

 

**trash-bin :** answer my Damn Question first:

**trash-bin :** did you complete the rap segment i assigned you last tuesday???

 

**loves nut :** what if i didn’t

**loves nut :** what if iasdkjnj

 

**trash-bin :** jisung

**trash-bin :** jisung what the fuck

**trash-bin :** josing

**trash-bin :** juicling

**trash-bin :** jislung

**trash-bin :** jisus

 

**loves nut :** hi yea sorry there was a really loud cloud clap

 

**trash-bin :** cloud clap?

 

**loves nut :** thunder.

 

**trash-bin :** ah

 

**loves nut :** and then cute distressed gay boy whimpered and snuggled up to me

**loves nut :** i may spontaneously combust

 

**trash-bin :** always fun!1!!!!11!!

**trash-bin :** who is this

**trash-bin :** gay distressed cute male

 

**loves nut :** ah nobody really just

**loves nut :** kim fucking seungmin

 

**trash-bin :** sorry who

 

**loves nut :**.

 

**trash-bin :** who

 

**loves nut :** i’m suing

 

**trash-bin :** gay depth

**trash-bin :** please don't sue i am extreme desperado

 

**loves nut :** desperate ?

 

**trash-bin :** si

 

**loves nut :** no hablo spain

 

**trash-bin :** fuck off i don’t hablo shit either

**trash-bin :** aNSWER MY QUESTION

**trash-bin :** did you finish the rap segment

**trash-bin :** and to answer yours :

**trash-bin :** if you don’t answer my Damn Question first

**trash-bin :** then i shall no longer have any news about homin

**trash-bin :** or minho whatever the fuck

**trash-bin :** it's been a whole ass four minutes jisung you can't just abort mission like this

**trash-bin :** this is some nice conversing going on

**trash-bin :** good talk, buddy

 

_Delivered 2:08AM_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy :)  
> always feel free to rant about your day or something in the comments  
> yell at me on instagram // @kimseun9min


	9. willow

After knocking several more times, Jisung finally decides to test the doorknob. He pushes down on the lever of the door and pulls the handle, finding it unlocked to his surprise. The house is completely silent, with him not hearing anything but the sheets of rain coming down on concrete. 

 

A flash of lightning illuminates the front porch, followed by a crash of thunder a few seconds later. Jisung hears a small whimper and a faint cry at the noise. 

 

Knitting his eyebrows, he toes his white canvas shoes off by the doorway and walks into the house, softly shutting the door. 

The interior of the house is decorated with shades of beige, coconut brown, and white. The living room holds a giant white leather couch covered with throw pillows from one arm to the other. 

On the loveseat sits a gigantic pile of blankets, with the ear of a teddy bear poking out of the hole at the top of the mess.

 

Jisung sees lightning pass through the sheer white curtains, again followed by thunder, but the time in between the strike and the boom seemed shorter. The storm was drawing near. 

As the last of the clap of thunder rang throughout the house, the pile of blankets stirred, along with more whimpers and sobs.

 

Tentatively, he walks to investigate the blankets, pulling off the thick powder blue one at the top. Pulling the blanket off widens the hole and Jisung peers inside, seeing a head of chocolate brown hair. 

“Seungmin?” he hesitantly asks. The question hangs in the air before a barely audible “yes?” comes from the mess of cotton.

 

The next blanket is a mint green one. This one uncovers a wheat brown teddy bear and Seungmin’s eyes, which are squeezed closed. A grey wool cover is removed, and it exposes most of the small boy and his brown hoodie. 

 

“Are you doing alright?” Jisung asks.

Seungmin opens his right eye slowly. “No,” he says in a meek, shaky voice.

More thunder arrives and he snaps his right eye shut again. 

“Thought so,” says Jisung. “What do you usually do during thunderstorms?”

“Usually my big brother Wonpil is here but he and mommy and dad went for a last minute trip for something for his project,” Seungmin sighs. Jisung smiles at the fact that the boy still called his mom mommy.

“What does Wonpil do when he’s here?”

“Well…”

“Well?”

Seungmin flushes. “He cuddles me and makes me sit in his lap.”

Upon hearing a chuckle, Seungmin looks up. 

“Well what are you waiting for?” Jisung says as he opens his arms.

Seungmin has never met anyone so open and outgoing.

 

“Which one is your favourite blanket?” asks Jisung.

“Th… The blue one,” he replies.

Jisung grabs the thick blanket from the cushion beside him and wraps it around Seungmin. Doing that, the teddy bear from before also falls out of the pile. Seungmin quickly grabs it and hugs it close to his chest, breaking the blanket cocoon Jisung had made.

“What’s the bear’s name?”

Seungmin looks up, eyes cutely round. 

“Willow.”

 

“Willow…” Jisung repeats. “Well let’s wrap you up again, but keep Willow in your little bundle this time.”

Seungmin nods. 

 

They sit like this for awhile, with Jisung keeping a steady patting on Seungmin’s blanket covered back. Taking out his phone with his unoccupied hand, he finds a message from Changbin. Raising an eyebrow at the ominous and elongated “so”, Jisung stops patting Seungmin’s back in order to explain his current situation. 

 

Following that, Changbin sends a few more messages. When Minho is mentioned, Jisung’s whole body jolts, leading to the boy in his lap nearly falling off. His hand returns to Seungmin’s back to keep him steady. 

 

In the middle of a reply, a really loud roar of thunder arrives, it being so loud that the windows shook.  Seungmin cries out and shoves his head into the crook of Jisung’s neck. Whimpering and nearly sobbing, the boy’s breathing becomes quick paced.

 

Jisung hugs the shaking boy tighter, this time with both arms. After Seungmin calms down and his breathing becomes steady, Jisung loosens his tense position. The storm dies down after awhile, and Seungmin’s eyes start to droop down. The puppy-like boy mutters something to Jisung.

“What?” he says. “I said thank you. for helping me withmmffss-” 

 

He fell asleep. Looking at his phone, Jisung finds a series of messages from Changbin. Responding to some, Jisung feels his eyelids grow heavier. The quiet sprinkling of rain, Seungmin’s breathing, and the warmth of the blanket soon lulls him to sleep.

 

Maybe it would all be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smh i'm really out here turning this fic into a long one.  
> the future chapters will also be as short as the current ones, and i plan to have a lot of chapters so buckle up.  
> i hope you're all enjoying?1!@?1  
> comments are my fuel so like  
> feel free to say anything  
> <3


	10. bust a nut in a sandwich

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hyunjins : you know, sometimes i worry about our generation
> 
> hyunjins : but the i realize that it’s chan hyung’s generation that we’ve got to worry about

**GROUP CHAT**

**NAME : church bois**

_ Recipients  _ :  _ Bang Chan, Hwang Hyunjin, Lee Felix, Yang Jeongin _

  
  


_ 09:32 _

  
  


**fesus :** you absolute  _ hoes _

 

**hyunjins :** shut the fuck up

**hyunjins :** and go back to sleep

 

**fesus :** YOU THINK I WOULD WAKE UP VOLUNTARILY ON A DAY LIKE THIS

**fesus :** MIGHT I REMIND YOU THAT THERE’S SOMETHING CALLED CHURCH

**fesus :** AND YOU, MY FRIEND,

**fesus :** ARE FUCKING  C H R I S T I A N

 

**our favorite Baby :** Lmao hyunjin

**our favorite Baby :** Dumbass

**our favorite Baby :** WAIT FUKC

**our favorite Baby :** IT’S SUNDAY

 

**fesus :** i hate this family

 

**hyunjins :** and u think i don’t

 

**D a d d y :** Felix, for once, you’re right

**D a d d y :** We’re all sisters and brothers in Christ

**D a d d y :** But for fucks sake please stop cursing

 

**our favorite Baby :** …

**our favorite Baby :** …… 

 

**hyunjins :** ……… 

**hyunjins :** you know, sometimes i worry about our generation

**hyunjins :** but the i realize that it’s chan hyung’s generation that we’ve got to worry about

 

**fesus :** gays

**fesus :** guys*

 

**our favorite Baby :** gays*

 

**fesus :** gays.

**fesus :** i have met one of your kind, our kind

**fesus :** and his name is han jisung

 

**hyunjins :** shit

**hyunjins :** isn’t he that one rap legend that works with changbin 

 

**fesus :** nah his parents own a bakery 

 

**hyunjins :** yes because that clearly means everything

 

_ fesus has added user 000914 _

 

**jisus :** i rise

 

**hyunjins :** oh i like him already

 

**fesus :** wait

**fesus :** jisus

 

**jisus :** fesus

 

**our favorite Baby :** shit

 

**fesus :** jisus 

 

**jisus :** fesus

 

**D a d d y :** i bust a nut in a sandwich

**D a d d y :** aye

 

**jisus :** BUST A NUT IN A SANDWICH AYE

 

**D a d d y :** B-BUST A NUT IN A SANDWICH AYEEEE

 

**jisus : BUST A NUT IN A SANDWICH YUH**

 

**D a d d y :** **_BUST A NUT IN A SANDWICH AYYEEEEEEE_ **

 

**jisus :** intense beat boxing

 

**D a d d y :** oh i like you

**D a d d y :** i like you a lot

 

**jisus :** i’m gay

 

**D a d d y :** oh i like you even more now

 

**jisus :** thanks dad

 

**fesus :** yea but i still don’t see any of y’alls’ asses at church

 

**our favorite Baby :** sorry i have to blow dry my refrigerator

 

_ Read 10:02AM _

  
  
  


**hyunjins :** what in  _ fuck  _ just happened

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao oops this is just pure crack sorry


	11. a Big Mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chan fucked up

_ 4:09AM _

  
  


**D a d d y :** you have a sweet ass

  
  


**Mommy Bear :** Who the fuck

 

**D a d d y :** ?? ?

**D a d d y :** OH

**D a d d y :** OH MY GOD HOLY F U CK

 

**Mommy Bear :** Are you okay?

**Mommy Bear :** Hello???

  
  


_ Opened 4:13AM _


End file.
